Ten Hours Sleep and Some Strange Dreams

Ten hours sleep this time.

I've just woken up completely spaced out and I'm waiting for the coffee to kick in. I remember a few strange dreams from last night.

In one, I was somewhere that I think was a science centre. I'd become separated from my wife and son and I was doing silly things with the things in the science centre.

My wife texted asking what part of the building I was in. Then somehow she sent me CCTV footage of myself fooling around.

In the dream I panicked.

Have I been drinking in that footage?

Even though I knew I hadn't.

Then I dreamed about my recovery worker.

I could see that he was writing me a message on WhatsApp. He's never actually sent me a message on WhatsApp. I could see that he was typing one in the dream, but the message never arrived.

He was writing it, and then he never sent it.

Then there was another one.

My wife and I were heading to the cinema with two close friends. They asked me how I was doing.

I said, "I am genuinely doing great."

And then I started crying in front of them.

I'm not going to decide what any of that means.

The first one is slightly different from drinking dreams I've had before. I've previously woken anxious after dreaming that I had actually been drinking. This time, even inside the dream, I knew I hadn't been drinking. The panic was about whether the footage would somehow show that I had.

CCTV and worrying I'd been drinking when I knew I hadn't. A message from my recovery worker that never arrived. Telling friends I was genuinely doing great and then crying in front of them.

That's what I dreamed.

Now I need this coffee to work.